Twenty Five
On this quarter life milestone, I reflected a little more than I usually do on my birthdays. This time I have taken in on all the teachings and insights I have acquired in the twenty-five years of existence. I love reading or even listening to stories of people twice or even three times my age on their journey and lessons throughout life. For example, the stories my parents tell me about when they were my age and what they would tell their younger self to do more of in their life. Today I decided to share three of my insights and maybe inspire you to do a little reflection for yourself or get inspired by mine.
ONE: MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS
The saying that people will forget what you have said and done to them, but they will never forget how you made them feel is something that I have learned along the way. Not only when it comes to myself but especially when it comes to others All my meaningful relationships whether it is romantic or platonic make me and the other person, feel seen, loved, and heard. The relationships where both parties are just in there for the fun are also present but the people, I feel connected with are the people that make me feel most like me when I am around them. Also, when reflecting with my close dear ones we talk about most are those moments we found it difficult to love ourselves and how the others made us feel better. Whether it was beating ourselves up because we didn’t achieve the thing we wanted or when crying over a broken heart and thinking what is wrong with me. It was those moments that these relationships worked healing because of how they made me feel and not only because of what the other person did or say.
TWO: KINDNESS
Kindness will always overrule! I wish I could say that I have always been kind to everyone and everything but that is not true. I have been unkind to people in my life, I have said mean things to them, and I have hurt people with my words and actions. I think it is impossible to not have done these things and I am sure that there will be moments that I will hurt someone with something I do or say again in the future. However, I can say that I aspire and intentionally treat everyone with kindness including myself. This might sound like an excuse and it is definitely not an excuse or reason for justifying being unkind to others. It is simply something I learned throughout the years and that is that I was being mean or unkind to others because I was being mean and unkind to myself.
Setting unrealistic expectations for myself in all aspects of life whether it was how high my grades should be, how many friends I should have or how I should be feeling. What I didn’t realize is that I unconsciously set those expectations for others to meet as well, and I started to react the same way to them as I did to myself when not meeting those expectations. Learning to be kind to myself did not only bring me much peace and self-love but it actually allows me to be kind to others. Accepting myself for exactly the person that I am with kindness allows me to accept another person for exactly who they are with kindness. I don’t have to agree or like how they are or what they do but I can be kind to them.
THREE: GUT FEELING
Trusting that gut feeling that tells you when something is not good for you and especially trusting your gut feeling when it is telling you something is good for you. You may remember me stating that I am a highly sensitive person in one of my other written words. This means that during my whole existence I am a little more sensitive to emotions and energies of other people around me compared to others. However, during the years I learned that there was something wrong with me for being so sensitive and I successfully learned to ignore moments I felt overstimulated or something being off about the situation. But now I can proudly say that I do not see and consider my sensitivity my weakness anymore but my strength.
Being sensitive allows me to tune in with what I am feeling at any moment and sit with it and act on it. My sensitivity allows me to set my boundaries when it comes to physical or social interactions. While at the same time strengthening my relationships because it allows me to tune into the needs of my loved ones before they ask me. My sensitivity allows me to ask my loved ones to tune into my needs because I know what I need now. My sensitivity makes me good at what I do because I can emphasize with my clients on a deeper level and change my approach to make it fit their needs. My sensitivity has made me exactly the person that I am today and will continue to empower me.
